#BixbyFifty #Day17 – Mom

Mother’s Day has come and gone once again. Anyone who has followed my writing from the early days, knows that I have written a few times about mom. Here are a couple of the more focused entries.

Previous gratitude journey (Day 51)
The hardest thing I have ever had to write

Well, today I am writing about mom again. Last week, (Monday I believe), Mom’s headstone was installed on her grave. I would like to thank Brandi Myles-Hutchison for going to the cemetery and taking the following picture.

This is another milestone for me. Mom passed away in December of 2011 and I just got this looked after. I feel bad for not dealing with this sooner. Truth is, it was just another difficult step in the process of saying goodbye. Like I mentioned in a previous entry, I can now look back at all of the fond memories without that deep sting of loss.

Today, I am thankful for a few things. Firstly, I am grateful that the mom’s gravesite is now marked with a headstone. It really took awhile to decide on a design and style. Everything felt so inadequate, but in the end, it was just my own feelings getting in the way of making a decision. Secondly, I am very grateful for Brandi. Brandi is my niece who lives in Pincher Creek, (daughter of Phil & Roberta). She has a very strong sense of family and has a large loving heart. Knowing she was there to inspect the headstone and take pictures was really important to me. Finally, I wish to give thanks and acknowledgement to my own process and grief cycle. This took a bit of time to get looked after and I am okay with that. I am not going to beat myself up over trivial things. It is symbolic that this occurred so close to Mother’s Day. This past weekend was spent outside working in our yard, something Mom dearly enjoyed. I also toasted her memory with a can of Alexander Keith’s. It is a small gesture and a silly ritual, but that simple can of beer brought back many fond memories of the adventures I shared with mom.

Thanks mom.

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