Anger Management – Some people need a copy of that book.

Hmmm. Where to start? My blog used to mostly contain reflections of someone who is perpetually thankful for all of the wonder around him. It is time for another post that is incongruent with my normal style and musings. Time for another catharsis.

I think I need to blog about this in order to get some personal closure. A couple of weeks ago, I found myself in a most awkward position, having been vehemently berated by an individual on a childish rant. It left me feeling bewildered and angry.

To set the stage for this little tirade, let me paint the scene of a wonderful afternoon with a gathering of friends. There were over twenty friends gathered together in a sunny back yard to watch a CFL football game. Some munchies, some beverages, & some laughs shared with friends. The big screen TV was showing the game and our team was winning. All was right with the world, or so it seemed…

There was a toy bow and arrow that a few of us were playing with, just general horse play and foolishness of friends with a beer or two in their belly. At one point, I picked up the arrow and accidentally broke the back notch off the arrow. Nothing serious, something a small piece of tape could fix.

At this point, the father of the child who owned the toy decided to go absolutely ballistic. He stood up, marched over to where I was seated and gave an incensed verbal rant that was completely off-base and through the roof. We all sat there dumb-founded until we realized he was serious and kept on with his gnashing of teeth and spewing of vitriol. I was completely taken aback. This was, at most a $5 toy you can find at Walmart, or more likely something you can find at at Dollar Store. Before I could respond in a manner that was befitting this jerk’s behaviour, he ran away and hid in the house. I quietly got up and left the scene to find some tape to fix this treasured family heirloom. Mostly, I got up and walked away because I was incredibly angry at being subjected to such a stupid and vicious rant and had to restrain myself from smashing this little yappy dog in the face. I did not want to escalate this drama further as this person was a house-guest of the hosts. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a violent person and I would much rather follow a gentler course through life than resort to physical violence. I had not felt this strong an urge to punch someone since grade 7. Incredible.

I came back with tape only to find that the arrow had been repaired. My darling better half had repaired the arrow and went to apologize to the youngster that owned the toy. His reply was simply, “Oh, that’s ok, I broke the other two arrows”. Really. At least he has way more perspective than his father.

I had also taken $20 from my wallet to make good for my inconsiderate and negligent act of toy breaking. I was disappointed that I never had a chance to tape a $20 bill to the arrow, so I simply gave the money to the hostess of the gathering with instructions she give the money to the raver whenever he came out of hiding. My wife and I promptly called a cab and left.

In the time since this unfortunate incident, many people that were in attendance have spoken about how idiotic the behaviour was and that they have witnessed outbursts from this person before, although the incidents seem to be getting more intense and more frequent. My God; people actually tolerate this kind of bullshit? My wife and I try very hard to live positive lives where we focus on what is good in the world and surround ourselves with life-affirming people. We also are very diligent in excising negativity and drama from our lives as it can be a very caustic and contagious behaviour. We will not have anything more to do with this individual. I sincerely hope he faces whatever demons haunt him, and he learns to deal with the feelings of insecurity and inadequacy that plague him and are the source of his outbursts. I have since traded my feelings of anger for those of pity. I can not imagine living my life seething with the turmoil of negative emotions that he must feel.

I cherish my friends and the outpouring of support. Many of them feel a need to discuss the event, I do not. I think spending time on the issue is directing focus to something I do not wish to focus on. I would rather my time and energy be directed toward more positive pursuits. The discussions and courageous conversations need to take place with the perpetrator, but alas, they likely will not. There is a deafening silence that somehow legitimizes the behaviour; not my cross to bear. There is an elephant in the room.