I am grateful for my own views of tolerance and inclusion. I am thankful that my world view is one of peaceful cohabitation. Today’s entry in the gratitude journey is going to wade into the murky waters of beliefs and extremes. Careful, you may not like what you read.

POLITICS
Are you right? Are you left? In the end, are you so stuck to an ideology that it blinds you or clouds your judgement? These are provocative questions. Am I trying to incite a conflict? Heavens no. I have people in my life that span the whole spectrum of political beliefs. The far right hard line conservative to the leftist leaning hippie. (Note, I am not placing a value judgement on those labels). For me, the whole thing gets frustrating when someone buys into the entirety of one side or the other. These are the people that discount any idea or initiative if it happens to be endorsed by the opposite ideology. Wow. Really? Does that mean what is good in our society is a Venn diagram where the two circles have NO OVERLAP at all. To me that is ludicrous. This deep entrenchment in either the right or the left precludes a phenomenal amount of unexplored middle ground. It is sometimes painful for me to engage in conversation with either extreme due to all of the blanket judgements that have to be overcome before you can even have a meaningful discourse on the subject. My own political beliefs have spent time exploring the far right and the left. There are some great ideas on both sides of the polarized spectrum, trouble is that they will have a hard time gaining traction by the other side. Many times the best course of action is held hostage to maintaining a hard line stance on an ideology where compromise or movement would be construed as weakness or a failing of their cause.

RELIGION
This is another touchy subject. I want to make this perfectly clear. I respect everyone’s right to choose and follow and practice their beliefs. That is important. I also include atheists and agnostics. There is room for all views and all beliefs. I do not think I need to say this, but I will anyways. I do not include people who engage in destructive or extreme practices in the “name of” their belief system. They are just fanatics trying to rationalize their own despicable behaviour by hitching to a cause.

My spiritual beliefs are very unique. I never feel the need to broadcast them to the world as they are personal to me. However, if you are truly curious, feel free to ask me. I am not opposed to discussing my beliefs. Here is the rub though… most people only want to know what you believe so they can construct arguments to dismantle your beliefs. They want to do this to “convert” you to their beliefs. That is where I lose respect for people quite quickly. I think I am okay, I do not need to be “fixed”.

“I have most respect for the person who is so confident with what they believe that they do not feel a need to convert others. They have a path of private conviction that allows them to interact with the world more respectfully.”

Over the years I have met religious zealots and over-zealous atheists alike. I do not need to be converted. I do not need to be educated. If I am curious, I will ask. Mine is a path of tolerance. In all sincerity, I am more interested in the conduct of the person I am interacting with, not their beliefs. In the last few years, I have to say that the most annoying are the atheists who are passionately trying to dismantle or refute the belief systems of others. I am an advocate of science and the scientific method, I am all for the progression of our collective understanding of the universe, but I do not understand the need to dismantle someone’s belief system to progress. And some of the arguments about the harm of religion are getting old. Yes, we all understand their were very bad things done by people of various institutions. The same could be said of any demographic or organization though. Religious organizations do not hold a monopoly in this regard. Just for the record and by way of disclosure, I never attended church growing up and I do not attend church now. That does not mean I cannot see the value in it. On another note, I am the event chair person for an annual charity that feeds those in need. They happen to be a faith based charity. I have had a few people take issue with supporting a Christian charity. Really? They are feeding those in need. I judge the organization based on what it DOES not by what it BELIEVES. They are doing good in the community and that is the yardstick by which I measure things.

In the name of tolerance, let us quietly, with grace and confidence, walk a path of our own beliefs while allowing others to do the same. Each person should feel free to own and practice their beliefs without the fear of persecution.

PHILOSOPHY
This is a bit more esoteric for me, but is closely linked to the other two sections I wrote above. Live and let live. Be who you are and allow others the same courtesy. I cherish the variety of views, knowledge, beliefs, ideas, cultures, and values of others. They all provide opportunities to learn and grow. My views are largely an amalgamation of the bits I have borrowed from the world around me, ergo, the more tolerant and open I am to that world, the more I can continue to shape and mold myself.

My gratitude today goes to all of the people I have connected with over the years, you have all helped shape me. Tolerance leads to understanding, learning, and growth.

I cannot help myself. I think it is an addiction. I love to plan events, and apparently I am fairly good at it. Where does this fit in with a journey of gratitude though? Let me tells ya…

Bringing people together is a joyous thing. Events are quite often a catalyst for new friendships and lasting memories.  If a gathering can create a legacy of friendship, then it is indeed a worthy pursuit. It is very rewarding to have a hand in that.

I host a couple of leagues at home. The BSOP (Bixby Series of Poker) and the BFD (Bixby’s Formula De League). The BSOP is an eight game series of Texas Hold’em Poker Games and the BFD is a 6 game series for a racing simulation boardgame. They are both replete with camaraderie, laughter and trash-talk. They are full of friends.

Additionally we host a number of gatherings in our backyard. The firepit is a magical thing. Everyone loves a fire. It is a center point for a host of other gatherings. Lobster boils, dart games, werewolf games, meals, or simple gatherings to sit and enjoy friends and while away the evening.

Then there are the host of boardgame events with SaskGames and the 24 Hours to Play with Your Food charity event. The list goes on…

There is a common theme to most of these events, they are centered around an activity. That makes sense when you consider that I am socially awkward. One of the things that surprises people about me is that I am an introvert. I am awkward when it comes to small talk or conversation. I struggle to connect to people. I enjoy talking with people, but my conversation skills are lacking when it comes to small talk. I tend to talk about abstract things, ideas, plans, and concepts. I also like to talk with people about matters of the heart. Deeper things such as what motivates them or brings them joy, what are their fears. What are their struggles, their triumphs? I call that “big” talk. Those are things that most people are not really comfortable discussing. When you consider that I am not good at small talk and big talk is generally something that is difficult to achieve in most social interactions, what is left?

…activities.

That is why events are magical. They can accommodate a broad spectrum of people and conversational styles. Introverts and extroverts alike can come together and co-mingle in an environment where the focus is on the activity. The activity provides a context for interaction. It is the catalyst that allows people to get to know each other in steps and on their own terms.

I watch very little TV, I do not watch many movies, I do not follow sports, I am not an armchair meteorologist. That leaves out a whole lot of conversational fodder. I can, however, plan an event where we come together to engage in some eccentric activity. Hopefully, in that space we establish some common bonds for friendship and maybe pave the way for some “big” talk. I am thankful for the opportunity this give me to get to know some very interesting people, some of whom I am honoured to have as friends.

I owe so much gratitude to Kathy that it is really hard to know where to begin. Kathy and I have been together for a long time. We have shared a journey that has had many twists, turns, and speed bumps. We even spent a couple of years apart in the middle of our journey. We needed some time to grow and mature and needed a spell apart. Even when we were separated, in essences, we were together.

When we first met, the thing that struck me most poignantly about Kathy was her own growth path. She was doing some self-work as part of a personal rebirth. I knew that I was on the brink of such an effort myself and was very much intrigued with what she was doing. Being self aware is being self empowered. That is why I am committed to life long learning. We can always learn a bit more about ourselves and in doing so self actualize. I met Kathy at a very important point in my life and she helped me kick start my own efforts in that area.

Since those early days, we have both made a growth commitment, as individuals and as a couple. There are times when one of us falters and the other is there to offer support, insight, and encouragement. There are times when one of us needs to be carried for a spell by the other. Those are powerful times as they allow us to recognize and celebrate both strength and vulnerability.

Speaking more specifically about Kathy, she is a rock. She has physical, emotional, and spiritual strength. She is a strong role model. She is an empowered woman. She is successful in her career, she is active in sports, she has raced mountain bikes, hunted, hiked, camped, trekked, and embarked on epic canoe trips in Canada’s North. She is comfortable sipping a fine wine or drinking the hardiest of imperial stouts. She is a force of destruction on the paintball field. Her laughter fills a room and her tears tug at the heart. She is a formidable foe at the boardgame table. She is radiantly beautiful in a dress or in a set of camouflage fatigues. Her exploits at the poker table are legendary, (being a three time season champion). …but mostly, she is just an awesome human being.

I am very lucky to have her as my partner and equal in our relationship. She has and continues to enrich my life in a multitude of ways. I draw strength and inspiration from her every day. I am very glad she is coming home today from New Brunswick. I miss her.

I love you Kathy.

Kathy – North Dakota Badlands

There is a book by Edward de Bono that is worth a read. It is called Simplicity. The book is filled with small tidbits about the elegance of Simplicity. Simplicity in life brings richness and fulfillment, at least it does for me. To further explore that thought, I would like to explain that my needs are quite simple. With simple needs, it is much easier to be content.

I enjoy spending time with family and friends. I enjoy an evening of boardgames. I enjoy a pint of good beer. I enjoy a peaceful walk or hike in nature. These are all relatively simple things. They are not terribly expensive, they do not require much other than a desire to pursue and enjoy them.

One of the things I came to realize with my previous gratitude journey, is that the more I reflect on things that I am grateful for, the simpler my needs become. I do not yearn for unobtainable items to bring joy to my life; they are already in my life. That may sound cliche or like it came out of a hallmark card, but it is so deeply true for me.

Simplicity is another reason I left the professional world of Information Technology years ago. Too much of the industry values complexity and cumbersome bloated projects over the elegance of simplicity. The value proposition is backwards.

This even applies to possessions. They say the things we own end up owning us; I believe it. Earlier this year when we got rid of 1200 music CD’s it felt as if the weight of those CD’s was lifted from our shoulders. Our garage has much less clutter with some of the purging efforts in the last few years. Simple is good.

The richness of joy deepens with every step I take towards a simpler existence. Today, I am grateful for a journey that heightens gratitude and pursues simplicity, they are inexorably linked.

The first leg of this gratitude journey needs to go to my brother Charlie. Actually, he is here now, visiting from Alberta. He called me up late last week and wondered what I was doing to commemorate my fiftieth birthday and that if I had no plans he would like to come for a visit.

Charlie has always been and continues to be a positive force in our family. During times of great family turmoil when I was younger, his was the voice of calm and reason. He has always shown a mastery of reason over emotion that has made him a rock of stability and consistency over the years. I drew a lot of strength from that when I was younger and today, I continue to be inspired by the conversations we have.

Charlie has worked hard over the years to bring siblings together in a way that honours and celebrates our unique differences. I give him credit for the cohesive love that ties us together as siblings in our adult years.

Many people perceive role models as something a child needs. Personally, I think our lives are a continuous learning journey and it is good to have role models for every stage of our life. As long as we are growing and learning, we are not dying. (At least that is how I view things). I want to give credit to a consistent and solid role model in my life over the years. Even now as we get together, our conversations explore ideas and values and always have a provocative quality that is quite uplifting. Today, I give thanks for my brother Charlie. I am so glad you thought to come to Regina to help usher in the spring. Now if you excuse me, I think we will go out and enjoy some of the nice weather we are having.

Choose your role models wisely.