I was not in a very good mood yesterday. I felt annoyed. Not sure why, perhaps it is some more detritus of the April 15th events working their way to the surface. That is okay.
I want to walk a fine line. I do not want to dwell or fixate on the events of that day; I do not want those events to own or define me. That said, I also do not want to stuff any thoughts or feelings about them into a dark closet either. Any feelings have a welcome home in my heart, I will calmly inform some of them that they only have a visitor’s pass though.
On Saturday, Kathy and I pruned the mayday tree, cutting out various sections of black knot. We raked some of the tell tale signs of winter past from the back yard. We gave the barbeque a thorough cleaning. We removed last year’s apples from the tree as they had become perilous apple-sauce bombs just waiting to fall. The patio furniture was placed around the fire pit. Our backyard was prepared to herald in a new season of gatherings.
As if to mirror my mood of yesterday, we received 3 inches of snow last night. Thank you nature for providing metaphors for me. It is interesting to think of dark moods in this manner. Just like the new fallen snow, my mood of yesterday is temporary. The inevitability of the warm spring sun will take the snow away, the commitment to an attitude of gratitude will dissipate the clouds of any dark mood. I am constantly reminded how wonderful life is and how many blessings we have. In an odd way, it makes me grateful for passing dark moods. It allows me to own them without them owning me. So, in a strange yet sincere way, I am grateful for being out of sorts yesterday. It came and went much like the fleeting nature of the snow on my lawn.